Stupid Baby Names


, , , , , , ,



What the hell is up with people naming their kids these days? While i understand the urge to give your child a moniker that is unique and special, i think people are just going overboard without any thought to how the name will affect their children in life.

What’s in a name?

A name is meant to honor someone important, carry on traditions, or to relay characteristics you hope your child to have. A name will follow you your whole life. In cases of job applications, it is often the first clue a perspective employer will have about your identity. Judgements are made based on names alone. In job related cases, getting the first interview/callback is the first step to securing a position in an organization. Unfortunately, racism and bias exist. A field study was conducted in the United States in 2010 to examine this trend. Results showed that applicants with white-sounding names are 50 percent more likely to get called for an initial interview than applicants with ethnic sounding names. So names like Ben or Amy have a 50% more chance of a call for an interview, than a Shaniqua, or Diago etc. even though there is no way to determine race by name.

If this is true, then can you imagine the case where someone names their child after a t.v, movie, or book character, or something similar. Who is more likely to get a call back? Tom or Katniss?

Celebrities are on a whole other level of “out there” Now you might say, “why the hell would a child of a celebrity need a job” Or “they can get whatever job they want because of who their parents are”. While that may be true, some stars fall from grace and lose their money….and even if they don’t, they should try not to be assholes when naming their kids. Here’s an example of some celebrities who gave their kid’s odd names: (some were from

  1. Nicolas Cage. He named his son Kal-El. (yup, superman)
  2. Jason Lee (my name is Earl/Mallrats) named his son Pilot Inspektor
  3. David Duchovney & Tea Leoni named their kid “Kyd”
  4. Sylvestor Stallone named his child Sage Moonblood
  5. Shannyn Sossamon named her child Audio Science (they looked up names from the dictionary)
  6. Frank Zappa has kids named Moon Unit, Dweezil and Diva Thin Muffin
  7. Penn Gillette has a daughter named Moxie Crimefighter
  8. Actor Rob Morrow named his child Tu…Yes Tu Morrow, god kill me now!
  9. Jermaine Jackson named his son “Jermajesty”
  10. Alicia Silverstone named her son Bear Blu
  11. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian named their daughter North…as in North West
  12. Bob Geldof has a daughter named Pixie, and an adopted daughter named Tiger Lilly (is the daughter of inxs frontman michael Hutchence)



The Quebec Toonie


, , , , , ,


With the release of the new Toonie honoring Quebec’s historic 400 year run in Canada comes a flurry of discussion and disagreement, but mainly leaves the rest of Canada scratching our heads. What in the world was the government thinking when they minted this coin?

I understand the intent, it would seem that it’s simply a way to honor one of our oldest cities because they are celebrating 400 years being a part of what became known as a little country i live in called Canada. A country that i belong to, that many of them no longer want to be a part of. For any non-Canadians reading this, or some who need a little refresher on our history, let me oblige.

In 1608 French explorer Samuel De Champlain was sent from France to create a new colony. He landed on the St.Lawrence River and traveled North to set up a settlement and Fur Trade post that the Indigenous Algonquin people referred to as “Kebec.” He promptly cultivated the lands he wanted and built a fortified establishment. During this process he befriended some of the Algonquin people and made a pact with them to go to war against the Iroquois people who were opposed to the French arrival as well as enemies of the Algonquin people. They waged war for years. In between these years, Champlain lived through the assassination of his King as well as new rule. He spent his life traveling back and forth from France to Quebec, trying to solidify what he called “New France.”

Fast forward to July 1, 1867. The Canadian Confederation. On this date Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Ontario and Quebec become a part of what is known as Canada. Even at this early stage there was much debate from Quebec who were worried about losing their cultural identity through the confederacy.

In the past couple of decades, the amount of dissent in Quebec has gotten larger and louder. The Quebec Sovereignty Movement has received much press in the news, in the 1960’s and 70’s a group of  Quebec separatists began a wave of terrorism which included the kidnapping and subsequent murder of Labor and immigration minister Pierre Laporte. The Canadian government stepped in and removed civil liberties and ended up allowing Quebec to change their official language to French only. In between then and now, the separatists of Quebec have continued to reject provincial referendums and ruling government bodies in an attempt to encourage their province to become a body independent of the rest of Canada.

So what do they want?

It’s not just a political movement.Throughout it’s inception, the settlers of Quebec have maintained that they wish to preserve their cultural heritage. They have a defined ideological sense of what it means to be a Quebec citizen. Historically speaking, they reiterate their francophone heritage as well as cultural customs as the main proponent to separation. But, what of the indigenous population of Quebec? What of the Algonquin and Iroquois people? What of the other indigenous first nations people of Canada? Surely the separatists don’t assume that this is a culture that does not have a voice in Quebec? What is the proud Multiculturalism of Quebec mean? (the one they are being honored for) It would seem it’s a loose term used to describe anyone who lives in Quebec that identifies as a Francophone, and no one else.

Are these other “founding” peoples, the people that gave up their land either willingly ( i use this term loosely) or by force a non people? The assimilation and colonization of these groups have shaped Quebec greatly. It is a fear by many Aboriginal groups that in the event of a separate nation, they would lose the treaties that were set in place by the French-British governments that are now being honored by Canada. They would no longer have to support them considering it was a treaty from a country that they no longer identify with.

So, to the Royal Canadian Mint, who chose to honor Quebec with a coin that they proclaim “highlights the city’s role as a meeting place for people and culture.” i would like to suggest a footnote that states simply “But only if you’re French.”




, , , ,

There has been a lot of media coverage in the past year or so with regards to bullying, from the overweight kid who stands up for himself, the bullied bus monitor, the weather girl accused of being an unhealthy role model to viewers and more recently, the case of Amanda Todd, a young girl who took her own life after she felt she had no other recourse. Her youtube video can be found here:

This last case, of Amanda Todd, has really got me to thinking about bullies, and what it means to be bullied. So many people have different ideas about what it means and to whom. I think it IS interchangeable. Its not something that can be easily defined or written about in the same sense. Every instance differs based on many variables. ** I would also like to preface this little rant by saying that i do realize that there are varying degrees of bullying, from something as “simple” as name calling and teasing to the more extreme cases that turn violent. In this blog i am covering my own experiences which are the less extreme cases. In no way am i trying to compare my personal experiences with that of someone else. This is only a discourse on the subject in general. Long story short, we need to stop trying to label everything, no need to scientifically produce set variables, just be good to each other. Make sense?

When i was a kid i was picked on. Picked on by brothers at home, ( One moreso than the other) i was told that it was just “teasing” and to “stop being such a suck” name calling is what all brothers do to annoying little sisters right? I got Indian burns on my arms, sat on and farted on, tickled until i peed my pants, teased until i cried, and one time i even got handcuffed to the basement pole while they went to get a slurpee. So..what does that mean? That i was in an abusive relationship with my siblings? Their treatment of me was unwelcome, unwanted and mostly (in MY opinion) unwarranted.  I dont believe that those instances left me physiologically or emotionally damaged, and we had a million fantastic times together as well. They would do anything to protect me from danger. So why? What sort of familial constructs are in place here? Why are we set that this kind of behavior is the “norm” for siblings. Have we been regaled with stories of familiar situations for so long that it is deemed acceptable?

Aside from siblings, i was also teased in school. By grade 7 i was still only 4’10 maybe 91 pounds. And by grade 9 i was 5’2 and 100 pounds. I was teased by different people for different reasons. The boys used to tease me that i was just as flat on the front as i was on the back (late bloomer, and by late i mean VERY late) I was teased about my ancestry (Metis and Irish) I was teased about the townhouse i lived in, Although i thought it was awesome! I was teased about everything i wore (because i never had any “brand Name clothes”)

The truth is, it used to bother the hell outta me, and it hurt. It hurt that people used to make fun of me for things i couldn’t control. I couldn’t just magically grow taller, i couldn’t grow boobs overnight, i couldn’t help that my great grandmother was native, i couldn’t control where i lived, what we drove, or what my parents chose to buy me. I couldn’t just ask people to leave me alone because it would just get worse, i couldn’t “tell an adult” because oftentimes we were just told to “ignore it and they will stop” or something similar. I survived. But how did i deal?

By the time i entered high school i had already established a pretty severe self esteem issue. I was the classic girl who loved attention from boys because that meant i was finally pretty enough. I ended up growing an extra inch taller, and filling out a little. But by then i had a skewed view and started down the path of an eating disorder. Luckily for me i had an epiphany of sorts and managed to regain a healthier nutritional style. But in all honesty, I still struggle with body image on a daily basis.

I spent a lot of my early adult years wondering what i could have done differently to have avoided those kinds of experiences. Some of them definitely shaped my view of myself, especially those revolved around my body image. But from where else? I grew up watching t.v and movies where the tall, skinny, beautiful big breasted woman got everything and the mousy brunette was always the plain jane or the nerdy friend. All my magazines centered around how to please my man, wear clothes that hug my body and etc. etc. i could go on for days. Is the media bullying me, is society? What of literature, music? Video games?

So, do i still have to put on my “big girl pants?” Those things from decades ago still hurt, how do we heal? Do we become an even bigger society of people talking to each other about our feelings….how the hell can we expect to do that when we can’t even talk to each other face to face anymore? We are a society who have become what i like to call “alone together”. We sit side by side, texting, googling or whatever, without a single word. So stop bullying?….Maybe there’s an App for that.

After all is said and done, i think what bothers me the most as an adult is the realization that i did it too. As hurt and confused as i was, i did the same thing to other people. More often than not it was to be a part of the herd, to join in with everyone else. I never really understood how big of an impact that my words could have on another person, even though i often cried myself to sleep…how fucked is that? So without using names, i would like to say some things to some people,

1. European girl from school: I have no idea why the hell we were all so mean to you growing up. I remember calling you names and making fun of the accent you had, in actuality i thought it was really neat. Last time i saw you, you were on the bus and you smiled and said hi to me. You said you were just married now and lived outside of the city. You showed me your engagement ring and it was beautiful You looked great and i said so, you treated me like an old friend and i left that day feeling completely ashamed.

2. Chubby kid from school. I don’t remember ever being directly mean to you, but i was indirectly. We made sure to pick you last for things, and never included you in our groups. When we all looked at you and giggled i know you knew it was because you were overweight. You had the nicest eyes out of any boy in our class. Now you are married with a kid and you look fantastic. I still talk to you now and again, and we have never discussed the past.

3. Loner kid. We made sure you were the loner, always called you names, pushed you (verbally) until you cried. Then we would make fun of that. I don’t remember you ever telling on us. Again, i have no idea when it started or why, as we entered high school i got to know you better and we actually used to hang out quite a bit. You never acted as if i did anything wrong to you. I know that i was a part of treating you badly in school and i hope you can forgive me.

This blog was more of a rant than an annoyance, but some things about bullying really does annoy the heck outta me. I hate that as a society people are so fast to jump up and make their voices heard when a case of extreme bullying gains media attention. Where are these people every other day? Surely we are not so naive to think that this does not go on every day, in every city, in every country, throughout time. That doesn’t mean that it is acceptable, but it is expected. We know that as human beings we have a natural instinct for familiarity, or the norm. We want to conform to the group, not stand out. Arguments may arise, but scientifically time and time again, at our most genetic base we will be drawn to another that is similar. Now that does not mean i think that we should all be the same, or that if we are different we should just face the fact that someone will make fun of us….that doesn’t make it right, but it does make it much more likely.

The answer to this is currently out of reach. All we can hope for is that we will treat each other better. Anti-bullying laws are being put into place, but it is not worldwide. Bills will be added, things will get ratified, politics happen and pieces of shit like “Dr. Phil” will still be fighting the good fight.

Oh yeah, and that girl you used to tease? Well she grew up and met Bono!


Dear Nancy Grace,

You are an overbearing bitch who doesn’t even have the decency to shut the fuck up when you have no idea what you’re talking about. Your shrill voice seems to invade every room in a 5 mile vicinity every time i surf past CNN. (which used to be one of my favorite channels before your arrival). You are on 10 times a day and argue with every single person on your show regardless of if they are an invited guest or someone you are interviewing. Your right-wing propaganda seeps into every sentence you speak, and your misogynistic views make Americans who lobby for your show look like bigger assholes than they already are. YOU are what’s wrong with America. People like you who think they are an expert on every person charged with a crime. Nothing gets past you does it? Oh, except for the fact that…

View original post 389 more words

The search terms that brought you here.


, , , , ,

What. The. Hell.

While browsing through my dashboard the other day, i came across some of the search terms that brought visitors to this site and realized that a lot of the people who end up here are a little strange. (Click on photo to enlarge)


Looks like a lot of people are concerned about their pooping habits, I’m glad my post on Coffee Shits helped so many people out!

The weirdest one that keeps popping up is centered around the awkward family photos blog i covered that included a family in the Garden of Eden “nude colored felt costumes” At least, that’s what I’m hoping this person (although it’s more likely that it’s more than one person) is searching for, otherwise…ugh! It just grosses me out every time i see the search term.

Bonus points to whomever searches for “sausage in your pants.”

Undeserving Celebrities


, , , , , , , , ,

A long time ago, being a celebrity was something that many people strove for and most people never achieved. In order to become a celebrity, one had to have made contributions in a certain field to be considered worthy of notice. Politicians, artists, Literary figures, brilliance, athletes and of course actors were oftentimes the professions of these celebrities. As time went on, we became fascinated with fame, and in due course crime and infamy. Notoriety became the new subject of fascination, and “wholesome” genres of yesteryear were abandoned for the shock value of reality television.

It all began innocently enough with talk shows, yet the clamor for “dirt and secrets” soon gave way to daytime talk shows such as Donahue, Geraldo and Sally Jesse Raphael. Not to be outdone, smaller scale affiliations started to introduce viewers to a more explosive and controversial side to reality and came up with the Richard Bey show (a talk show which incorporated elephant noises when overweight people walked on stage) to the more popular Jerry Springer show.

After the daytime crap shows came what (at first) seemed to be a new type of reality show; the competition. Here we see the birth of Fear Factor, Big Brother and Survivor. Surely taking a bunch of strangers and having them compete for cash prize must be a good idea right? Right? after all, when these people are done the show they will go back to their dreary lives and forget their 15 minutes of fame…..

I mean Take Survivor for instance, The first winner pretty much walked around nude the whole damn show, wagging his peen in everyone’s way…if i did that on the street I’d be arrested. How was this not sexual harassment of some sort? Plus it was supposed to be a family show.

Just dropping the kids off at the sandbox

That’s alright, i’m sure everything else he did was on the up and up….Oh no wait, he was arrested and charged with tax evasion and served jail time TWICE…but he said it was because he was gay. On top of all of this, he still managed to appear on another reality show, The apprentice. So much for fading away into obscurity for winning a game.

Now a show that gave us that gem so early on in the game couldn’t have possibly given us another right? I mean what could be worse than honoring a guy that really didn’t do much in the first place? How about giving a racist, bigoted, uptight crazy bitch a talk show?

Oh Elisabeth Hasselback, one of the most asshole-y people on the planet, she was a rude bitch on survivor and continues to be a rude bitch on the view. Yet she’s not fired, why? Because people still continue to watch that shitty show and continue to enable her career. Kudos to Bill Maher for not punching her in the face when she wouldn’t shut up about a joke he made and she took it completely out of context:

She also tried to take on, Whoopi Goldburg, Rosie O’Donnell, Kathy Griffen, and Janine Garofalo…i think she just hates anything funny.

In the last few years we have been bombarded with reality t.v aimed at a younger crowd. Teen Mom and 16 and pregnant, for instance seem to be aimed at the under 18 crowd. The show’s stars and producers tell the media that their intent is to warn kids to have safe sex and wait to have kids. Some of the teens like Janelle Evans and Amber Portwood have lost custody of their children and have both been in jail, yet they are still being pursued by MTV and its affiliates as well as being paid for appearances in magazines and other forms of media. I could fill a whole other blog on these two shows alone. The worst part with these shows is the sheer fact that these kids are being used by adults.

Watch me!

So to recap, we started off with reality shows based on interviews and talk shows, graduated to competition shows, reached the horror of teen pregnancy and child exploitation (don’t even get me started on Toddlers and Tiaras..i had to stop myself from even going there) and now we end with..Socialites. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, People famous for being rich and nothing else…..

What’s that blinking light? That’s hot!

I have no idea anything is being recorded, i just pose like this at the end of my bed before i have posed sex with my boyfriend every time !

Oh Man! these two are sure a piece of work, and the public keeps lapping the shit up! After the release of Paris’s sex tape, she had a steady stream of shit shows for years. Plus an album or two! And don’t even get me started on Kim, I’m not even sure what she does, except wander around wearing different wigs and using different accents to scare the crap out of her family. (seriously, watch this clip to see what it looks like to watch a mind snap)

Kim Kardashian Wigs out

This Crazy Bitch


, , , ,

Who the hell does this lady think she is? She seriously thinks that chucking her baby all over the place is good for it? Wtf? and people get all bent out of shape when someone spanks their kids, something seems very twisted here.

****Be warned, This is graphic and viewing this may want you to hunt this bitch down****

Crazy Yoga Lady

Crazy Yoga Baby



, , , , , ,

So about 2 years ago, i wrote a post on Food that i love that is no longer made. Well my friends, the day has come where one of my old favorites has now come back. That’s right, i’m talking Fruit Filled Mini wheats!

     Last year, All Bran came up with a somewhat tasty, yet still inferior version of this. This is probably when the Kellogs people were like “Fuck that noise! That’s our shit man! (this is in no way verbatim, yet i’m still pretty confident this is how it went down)

So i promptly went out and bought a box. You see, there’s nothing as sweet as looking at the little mini wheat guy on the cover of the box, biting into the middle of a filled mini wheat and imagining that the little guy is being torn apart in my mouth. I can almost hear his sweet sugary little screams.

If you would like to see which other foods i want back click here:

2011 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 28,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.