Where to begin? Twilight has taken off among tweens and soccer moms across the world. It revolves around a group of vampires who can’t fly, morph into bats, sleep in coffins or do anything remotely cool. No instead they sparkle like fucking DIAMONDS in the light….oh yeah, that’s right  they can go out in the daytime too. So, they aren’t really vampires at all are they? No they seem to be some sort of fairy folk who parade around the forest protecting humans from slightly cooler vampires and sparkle their pathetic asses off.

The main vampire in the movie, Edward is basically a senior citizen who has pedophile attractions to a young high school girl who sucks all the joy out of every scene she is in, oh yeah…she can’t seem to live without a man and bounces back and forth between Edward the vampire and whatshisface the werewolf.

What i don’t get is how many people jumped on this bandwagon so fast, seemingly forgetting what vampires really are. They are evil, eat people, fly, and ensue chaos wherever they go. That’s what makes them so cool.

Here is lame twilight Edward:

Watch out folks, I'm about to SPARKLE!!!!

Here is a real Vampire:

Now i don’t mind that some people like the damn series, i mean i’m sure people don’t like all the movies i do. It’s the crazy Twihards that drive me crazy, the youth of today thinking that this is what a vampire is supposed to be, young girls idolizing a pathetic emo example of a girl who can’t do anything on her own a proverbial doormat. The insanity has got to stop!!! Let’s bring back the vampire for what it was supposed to be, not for what some untalented Morman thinks.

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