oh you said New Delhi, i thought you said Noo-dle-ee

More often than not, this occurs when drinking is involved. Tensions start running high, your voice becomes elevated, perspiration starts to occur and then BAM! it occurs to you that you are wrong. How do you gracefully get yourself out of this situation without looking like an asshole? Let’s look at a few examples”

Example:While discussing celebrity interest in India

YOU: ” No wonder they go there, Calcutta is a beautiful city, no celebrity is going slumming, of course they will visit the capital”

Them: The capital is New Delhi

YOU: Um….no it’s not (here we go into all of the “obvious” reasons that you’re right…the movies you’ve seen, you’ve seen it on jeopardy, read it in a textbook…blah blah blah) So after arguing you go look it up on Google and there it is. New Delhi is the capital of India. At this point you feel like your beloved internet just betrayed you, and as you struggle desperately to save face (and avoid looking at the smug look from the person you’re arguing with) you decide to make a last ditch effort to save face. Quickly typing NEW DELHI in Wikipedia you find out that Calcutta WAS the capital until 1911 when it became New Delhi.  SEE! you yell, i TOLD YOU it was Calcutta,

Now at this point you can try a few approaches:

1. Take the political route.

Here you can try to steer the original argument into a new one in which you will be “right” (be careful here, if you are TOO drunk, you’ll have to choose your words wisely) Say something like “Well, because of all the political turmoil in India, what with the Dali llama not being recognized and such, i believe that the state was omitted forcefully by the “new” Emperor and therefore i still stand by the original decision of the people that Calcutta will always be the true state of India, I mean YOU don’t support a police state do you? Do you know how many of their children die a year? Don’t you care about their kids? Because if you don’t care about starving kids then that’s just shitty of you as a human being. These kids work all day making shoes so you can wear them, they don’t even get to go to school! Don’t you care about their human rights? What kind of person are you?”

Usually at this point, the other person may start to look a little ashamed, this is where you switch the topic to something completely different and hopefully everyone else will follow the flow of the conversation, leaving you like a sly fox who has managed to be wrong in the argument and still come out looking good while the correct person looks like an asshole.

2. Blame the education system.

Say something like “they didn’t really teach that in my school, MY school taught more important things than the capitals of Asian countries. We spent all our time learning (insert envy worthy lesson here)” This way, unless you went to the same school, you can paint your school into being some sort of Art institute, or Julliard school for the “gifted” Also be sure to begin discussing some cool lesson you learned at the school, whereby successfully opening up new dialogue about a different topic, hopefully leading everyone to forget what the argument was about in the first place.

3. Fake an injury

These are desperate measures for desperate times. If the answer to the argument is really obvious to everyone but you, and you just blew a huge brain fart and realize how stupid you’ve been and don’t want the whole room to harass you for the rest of your life, you can always fake an injury. Most people will come to your aid and spend the rest of the night asking you how you feel, or at least not wanting to be a dick by bringing up your error while you’re hurt.

so as you can see there are still some opportunities to avoid looking as stupid as you feel when this happens to you. Just remember, the important thing to do is to be able to think fast and build a strong argument, whether you’re right or wrong.

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