This is just nasty.

When you are in a public place, such as a restaurant or bar, the owners are hoping that their patrons are going to be using the soap after they use the bathroom, and rightfully so i might add. The problem that i have here is that these places provide the lowest of low quality soap that stinks like shit. It’s either:

1. granulated powder/liquid combo

Identifying feature:

  1. little pieces of grainy crap get stuck under your nails
  2. Stinks like roses and it’s in the shitter. We all know by know that the scent of dried flowers and shit isn’t pretty, but more reminiscent of trips to grandma’s house.

2. Pink liquid

Identifying feature:

  1. Leaves your fingers smelling  like you just fisted a dirty hobo
  2. doesn’t lather
  3. stains anything white

3. Foam

Identifying feature:

  1. reminds me of the scuzzy sea foam at the edge of the water at the beach, they both don’t hold their bubbles and smell faintly of fish

Now i understand that these places aren’t going to go out and buy dove or something like that, but what the fuck industrial soap makers? How hard is it to make a soap lather? a soap that doesn’t stink like a funeral home, a soap that isn’t PINK?

Excuse me while i go and dry my hands on that horrible, thick brown paper towel that we used to have in elementary school. Yeah that’s right. Paying a fortune at a steak house to feel like a fucking 9 year old in the bathroom again so i can go back out there and eat my steak. Bringing my fork back and forth to my mouth all the while inhaling the faint smell of dead roses and dirty hobo.