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Why do people shy away from this topic? Honestly, it happens to all of us, and those who say it doesn’t are liars or drink decaf. The culprit of the ever-annoying coffee shit is the caffeine, it’s a diuretic, which causes the horrible coffee shit. Not fun. So why do millions of people continue to drink it every day? cause it’s fuckin’ great and it means i don’t have to eat horrible cereal like all bran or other gross fiber cereal. You know damn well that about an hour after you start drinking it you have to go to the can, which can be a horrible situation once you decide that you’re going to down a whole pot within an hour and half. In that case be prepared to shit at least 3 or 4 times, with each consecutive dump getting stickier and stickier until it becomes the all horrible clay shit:

where is patrick swayze when you need him?

ok, so now i have gotten to enjoy my coffee, but at what price? Now i have to wipe my ass until i use an ungodly amount of toilet paper in the process, also taking into consideration the courtesy flush, and the fact that i may also rub my hoop raw. The worst offender in this category is Tim Horton’s. Don’t get me wrong it’s my favorite coffee but good god man, i swear my body starts to reject the stuff 20 min after my first sip.

Anyway, i’m gonna stop typing now and enjoy my 4th cup of joe. in any case, i thought it would be nice if you guys knew your shit.